Life is just crazy. I never seem to slow down, it's always something. My "to do" list never seems to shorten. And I think I may be battling a little PPD. I seriously just want to sleep. If I'm home I want to sleep, not that I get to, but I want to. If I'm on the go I seem better. I'm also very much struggling with my weight and body image, as well as the condition of my house. So I've resolved to get my butt in gear. I want to start putting more effort into the house, so my goal is one room a day top to bottom. Once I get them all done then up keep should be easy if I stick with it. And I have got to start watching what goes in my mouth, not to mention I have got to exercise. I have been getting out with the kids, walking to the park and to neal's school some days to pick him up. But I need a daily routine of something that really gets me going. I have been saying for weeks I'm ready to get back to the gym and I want to and look forward to it, but just never have the motivation required to actually go. I know once I start I can do it, it's always making myself take the first step. I really feel like getting a grip on my house and my weight will help with how I feel. So I'll try to keep you posted on how that goes, feel free to give me moral support and a little kick in the rear if you want...
On to other things.
I got my hair completely whacked off. It was in such bad shape and all I ever did was pull it up b/c it took too long to dry. Chris hates it, but I love it. Makes my life so much easier.
i am so sleep deprived. mikey sleeps ok usually. i usually go to bed around 11pm and he normally wakes up at 1-2 am and 4-5 am. but it's like i have trouble going back to sleep so i stay up longer than it really takes to tend to him. and then stay on the go so much that i just can't catch up by napping during the day. but lately he seems to be waking more or sleeping more restlessly (is that a word?) and i will co-sleep some with him or fall asleep in the recliner in his room holding him. so i don't sleep sound when i do sleep. anyway, i can tell it's catching up with me physically and mentally. then last night he slept from 8pm until 2:30am, but then from 2:30 am until 5:50 pm today he slept in 5-15 minute spurts here and there. he may have slept a total of 2 hours. then he slept for 1 hour and 26 minutes at 5:50pm. can you tell i've spent all this time just watching the clock? anyway, my mom couldn't have picked a better night to let me sleep. her and dad are off tomorrow so they came about 7:30 pm and took mikey for the night. i cried in the shower, feeling sad. why i don't know. but i sooooooo NEED this. i took a shower, took my last two loratab from my tooth stuff i had done, and now i'm just waiting to crash. now i pray i can actually sleep solid.
In other mikey news, the kid still only drinks 2-4 ounces at a time but eats lots of little feeds. Occasionally I can get a 6 ounce down him. And talk about slow! I remember the other boys could suck down 8oz in record time. I am no longer breastfeeding. I reached my 6 week goal then slowly let it taper from there. He's been weaned about a week. I'm a little sad some days, but then I remember feeling tied to the pump or how it was to schedule what I needed to do around his nursing. That always relieves some of the guilt.
I think he's up to about 13 lbs now. He still seems small to me, but my boys have always chunked up so fast. Mikey just now seems to be getting a little roll on his thigh. I've got to go get his pics made, add that to my "to do" list for this week, lol.
Let's see, what else is new?
I took the boys to the Indian Mounds Saturday, that was fun. A cheap and educational something to do. Man that's a long way up Mound A for someone so out of shape. Jacob isn't too fond of heights, gets it from his momma. At the top he said "ok I'm done I feel like I'm gonna vomik."
Zach had his first field trip to the pumpkin patch, that was fun. I really like his teacher and she secured her spot on my "good" side. I took his inhaler just in case b/c I knew he be outside and around things he's not used to (farm animals, hay, etc). So I said I was going to take him to the car for a "puffer" and she had his school one right there in her purse. Her being prepared for his asthma really pleased me!
Jacob is going on his first field trip for this year to the dairy farm, and Chris is going. This will be his first field trip, I can't wait to hear how it goes. They have this new no sibling rule, so I couldn't go, and mom and dad have mom's dr appt, and paranoid me can't let any of my kids go without one of us or nana or papaw, so chris got roped into it. Jacob is stoked about daddy going.
Neal is doing better in school, or so he says. We'll see how it reflects in his grades soon. If he brings everything up to atleast a "B" then he gets an "under armor" shirt. If you don't know what this is, then feel happy. He's asked for this useless shirt forever, so I used it as a bribe (thinking deep down that he'll never bring that 63 up to a "B". Bwahaha is that wrong??? This kid has always done so good in school, it's just always come naturally. Fourth grade is kicking his butt, and his not being organized isn't helping. I've also always been easy on him about homework and stuff, and this year I'm really having to stay on my toes with this. With us both working harder he may pull it off, stay tuned.
As I mentioned my mom has a dr appt. I'm going to ask that y'all keep my mom in your prayers. She has some medical stuff going on and I will post more later, after we have results from this test, but for now, just keep her in your prayers. I can't imagine my life without her, and what's going on reminds me that every day is a blessing and nothing in life is a given, never take it for granted.
Hmmmmmmmm what else???
It's been so long since I've blogged it all just seems to be lost in my mushed up mommy brain. So I'll leave you with some pics of my guys. Enjoy.
Some days we walk to neal's school to get him, Jacob befriended a froggy.
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